Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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