The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
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I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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