is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
