My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
