legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize