did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize