Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
and she was petting her beer can
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
