From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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