Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
