Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Sry I called you an 8
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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