All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.