As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
