this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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