Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.