I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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