thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
