Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
