life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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