i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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