just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
