Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
