i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
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My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
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I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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