Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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