Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
