How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
