the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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