i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
