I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
