you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
