He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
