I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
