oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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