She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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