He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
