i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Everclear isn't food dammit
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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