I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
