lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We're too hungover to prance.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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