I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
are you so shy because you have an std?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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