Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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