new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
