Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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