If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
