he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
