do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
