Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
