marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
