I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
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It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
As shirtless as possible
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
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We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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