Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.

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  (317): So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights? (1-317): Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude. http://tfl.nu/pkhp
  Replies (16) Good night (999) Bad night (3901)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.

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  (708): You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook. http://tfl.nu/mlr4
  Replies (24) Good night (4494) Bad night (868)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together

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  (410): Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together http://tfl.nu/isyr
  Replies (12) Good night (5466) Bad night (1314)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society

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  (614): I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society http://tfl.nu/ns4r
  Replies (20) Good night (3444) Bad night (1300)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.

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  (423): I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/dili
  Replies (5) Good night (3876) Bad night (1264)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now

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  (314): she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now http://tfl.nu/v305
  Replies (5) Good night (2122) Bad night (714)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.

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  (919): What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic. http://tfl.nu/uq7x
  Replies (19) Good night (3203) Bad night (781)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.

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  (914): Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played. http://tfl.nu/0gxi
  Replies (4) Good night (2578) Bad night (518)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3

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  (505): Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3 http://tfl.nu/ef92
  Replies (5) Good night (792) Bad night (1080)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.

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  (616): Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy. http://tfl.nu/lqb9
  Replies (5) Good night (1470) Bad night (673)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive

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  (775): I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive http://tfl.nu/xzuf
  Replies (0) Good night (369) Bad night (614)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one

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  (918): She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one http://tfl.nu/uqwv
  Replies (1) Good night (807) Bad night (304)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down

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  (910): Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down http://tfl.nu/ca0t
  Replies (0) Good night (542) Bad night (248)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)

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  (319): So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know) http://tfl.nu/6617
  Replies (1) Good night (404) Bad night (266)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.

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  (860): If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong. http://tfl.nu/rxbi
  Replies (2) Good night (320) Bad night (141)

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