a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
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ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
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Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help