he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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