Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.

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  (314): First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom. http://tfl.nu/gkr4
  Replies (13) Good night (854) Bad night (3716)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?

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  (201): My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question? http://tfl.nu/fkcd
  Replies (76) Good night (996) Bad night (11512)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  it's not cheating when I paid for it

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  (678): it's not cheating when I paid for it http://tfl.nu/o8mk
  Replies (67) Good night (1547) Bad night (5351)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.

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  (770): I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected. http://tfl.nu/i708
  Replies (17) Good night (4960) Bad night (962)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.

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  (307): first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester. http://tfl.nu/skng
  Replies (14) Good night (5950) Bad night (1058)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.

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  (435): I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs. http://tfl.nu/z5mq
  Replies (13) Good night (2643) Bad night (682)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.

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  (850): My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper. http://tfl.nu/6jx2
  Replies (15) Good night (2887) Bad night (923)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.

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  (347): Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year. http://tfl.nu/t2q4
  Replies (5) Good night (1663) Bad night (1075)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?

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  (780): So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends? http://tfl.nu/kqn5
  Replies (5) Good night (2953) Bad night (604)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning

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  (314): I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning http://tfl.nu/jesw
  Replies (1) Good night (758) Bad night (1017)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.

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  (954): I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days. http://tfl.nu/jvfc
  Replies (1) Good night (911) Bad night (567)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy

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  (210): I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy http://tfl.nu/96zr
  Replies (4) Good night (1113) Bad night (602)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls

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  (204): I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls http://tfl.nu/4n4b
  Replies (11) Good night (523) Bad night (960)
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  (716): View more from New York

  definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.

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  (716): definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush. http://tfl.nu/3ehj
  Replies (6) Good night (761) Bad night (493)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......

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  (586): Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet...... http://tfl.nu/yh71
  Replies (3) Good night (262) Bad night (550)

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