Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
