I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
