What a fucking waste of an outfit
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think my moral compass just broke
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