I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
