i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i wish my penis had a tongue
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
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I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
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On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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