So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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