the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize