Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
