weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
