can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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