look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Panties = found
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
