I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
