u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
