'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize