so that wasnt chicken after all
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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