I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
