remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
