Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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