All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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