you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
